As someone who was so addicted (or whatever you want to call it) to Twitter that I had to get my husband to change my password in order to quit, I will say I agree with all of this, but one thing that is objectively better about not being on phone is you realize that online discourse impacts you basically not at all if you don't know about it. If people are mad about something on whatever platform, that usually barely matters, and maybe you'll eventually hear about it in a real article but probably not and you definitely don't need to be losing your mind about it or spending all day arguing with strangers. So that has been good for me! I also highly recommend doing this without telling people because it's so fucking embarrassing to do a big "I'm taking a break from socials" post and then be back on two days later.
as an (almost) doctoral-level integrative therapist I can’t express enough how happy it makes me to see someone I respect and admire say something positive about DBT
Ohhh Kate, thank you for mentioning 100 Siegmunds. I am still smiling. And the one being I know who never has a problem disconnecting, and especially not from phones, my cat Horace (with an honorary last name Walpole), though he has never read Doestoevsky, is a feline Zen master at suddenly spotting an intriguing insect that no other being can see and almost pouncing on it, before he allows it to escape momentarily before another pounce. Unlike your dogs, I don't have to take him for walks - he manages that part of his existence in his own ways - and he also varies his favorite sleeping or napping spots with an insouciance which belies overthinking the issue. And though I don't devote much thought beforehand to his annual kitty Yuletide present, the thought of getting him a one of those special $39.99 "Log Off" pillow kits from your aforementioned Etsy supplier is rather priceless.
Short version of the above: I truly loved this post. Thank you again for its many details, derangements, and detours. And though I haven't (yet) listened to your favorite Mahler's 6th recording, I hope to, one of these days/weeks/months/years. To return the musical favor I will recommend to you the YouTube video of 'Sedi Donka', a Bulgarian piece with a rhythm signature in 25 (two 7's followed by an ll, for those who like to count along), by a Welsh folk music trio of three exceptional musicians whose name ("The Trials of Cato") would be worthy of another paragraph or two, some day. It ain't Mahler... but Welsh musicians playing impossible syncopated Bulgarian rhythms may give birth to my own version of your Siegmunds: 25 Sedi Donkas. :)
I deleted my socials December 2025 and haven’t looked back but i didn’t do it because there were 400 substacks waxing poetic about the benefits or how my screen time isn’t my fault, actually. I did it because i was tired of feeling like a loser while looking at instagram first thing when i woke up. The bad feeling inspired the action—that’s all.
I love that you brought up agency, behavior, the very simple act of putting down the phone in order to stop looking at the phone. I appreciate that this essay was actually saying something different, thanks for writing it!
As someone who was so addicted (or whatever you want to call it) to Twitter that I had to get my husband to change my password in order to quit, I will say I agree with all of this, but one thing that is objectively better about not being on phone is you realize that online discourse impacts you basically not at all if you don't know about it. If people are mad about something on whatever platform, that usually barely matters, and maybe you'll eventually hear about it in a real article but probably not and you definitely don't need to be losing your mind about it or spending all day arguing with strangers. So that has been good for me! I also highly recommend doing this without telling people because it's so fucking embarrassing to do a big "I'm taking a break from socials" post and then be back on two days later.
as an (almost) doctoral-level integrative therapist I can’t express enough how happy it makes me to see someone I respect and admire say something positive about DBT
Ohhh Kate, thank you for mentioning 100 Siegmunds. I am still smiling. And the one being I know who never has a problem disconnecting, and especially not from phones, my cat Horace (with an honorary last name Walpole), though he has never read Doestoevsky, is a feline Zen master at suddenly spotting an intriguing insect that no other being can see and almost pouncing on it, before he allows it to escape momentarily before another pounce. Unlike your dogs, I don't have to take him for walks - he manages that part of his existence in his own ways - and he also varies his favorite sleeping or napping spots with an insouciance which belies overthinking the issue. And though I don't devote much thought beforehand to his annual kitty Yuletide present, the thought of getting him a one of those special $39.99 "Log Off" pillow kits from your aforementioned Etsy supplier is rather priceless.
Short version of the above: I truly loved this post. Thank you again for its many details, derangements, and detours. And though I haven't (yet) listened to your favorite Mahler's 6th recording, I hope to, one of these days/weeks/months/years. To return the musical favor I will recommend to you the YouTube video of 'Sedi Donka', a Bulgarian piece with a rhythm signature in 25 (two 7's followed by an ll, for those who like to count along), by a Welsh folk music trio of three exceptional musicians whose name ("The Trials of Cato") would be worthy of another paragraph or two, some day. It ain't Mahler... but Welsh musicians playing impossible syncopated Bulgarian rhythms may give birth to my own version of your Siegmunds: 25 Sedi Donkas. :)
I deleted my socials December 2025 and haven’t looked back but i didn’t do it because there were 400 substacks waxing poetic about the benefits or how my screen time isn’t my fault, actually. I did it because i was tired of feeling like a loser while looking at instagram first thing when i woke up. The bad feeling inspired the action—that’s all.
I love that you brought up agency, behavior, the very simple act of putting down the phone in order to stop looking at the phone. I appreciate that this essay was actually saying something different, thanks for writing it!
when i gave up my smartphone i became so annoying i got broken up with